Sooooo Gay

One thing that is really bothering my gay ass lately is the proliferation and acceptability of straight people using "that's so gay" as an insult. Now, if what they were referring to actually was something very gay, as in something a gay person would do or have (which is how the term started), it would not be offensive. Because there is nothing WRONG with being gay. But they are using it in general to mean stupid or lame - THAT is offensive. What if everyone walked around saying, "That's SO black" or "That's SO Hispanic" in the same way? Would people STAND for that?!? NO. This really illustrates how homophobia is still rampant and how gays are seen as either loathsome or a big joke, and if we are as sensitive as other minorities, we are just being overly PC. When called on this people say they don't MEAN gay people, they claim it is a general saying that has become something new. But hello - we're not talking about a term that started a hundred years ago - we're talking about something that people have only been saying for a few years. You ARE saying that GAY = stupid, and that is precisely what some little gay kid who hasn't come out is hearing all his friends say.

OK. Now thats bad ENOUGH. Well imagine my disgust when I came across www.artfags.org. Apparently this scene of black haired goth-lite young people, mostly in Florida, have started calling each other "art fags." What they mean is that they are hipster nerds. When did it become ok to be so cavalier with a word like "fag?" This is not a word to be taken lightly. The word "fag" is as hatefull as the word "nigger." When a gay person, or even a straight person hears this word on the street - they have reason to fear for their life. I emailed the girl who runs the site and she was totally dismissive. Here is my first email to her followed by her response:

Is this some newfangled art school girl slang that I am completely to old to get? I'm only 31, a homo - and also an artist, and in my experience "artfag" usually referred to an older gay man, who wasn't an artist, but who was into art - and often had a ponytail. This term was used primarily by gay men referring to other gay men. Later, we gay boys called each other "artfag" as a joking insult. So now it's moved on to girls, mutating from irony to faux irony? Interesting, and slightly offensive.

The term 'artfag' as it is used on my website is meant as a pejorative term for a person- either male or female- who identifies with hipster/indie/scenester/etc trends. Although I am unaware of the term's origin, I learned it from a Dead Milkmen song called Instant Club Hit. Because the album with that song on it came out in the mid 1980's, I would not consider referencing a man or a woman as an 'artfag' to be a newfangled art school slang word. Also, as I am not in art school, I have no idea what art school people use as slang.

Ok - granted, she's kind of an idiot. She apparently doesn't understand the lyrics of The Dead Milkmen, so discussing irony and being ironic are obviously not going to work. But I TRIED in my second email.

The word "fag" is not unlike the word "nigger." A gay man can call another gay man a "fag" like a black man might call another a "nigger," but is unacceptable for another to use that term. Would you call yourself an "art-nigger?" what if a group of white guys called each other, "My nigger?" The fact that you use the term "art-fag" as a pejorative is incredibly offensive. When a gay man hears the word "fag" it is often followed by getting beaten or killed. Yes, the word fag is as fucked up as the word nigger. Gay men using it is an act of power, reclaiming the term and using it ironically. Just because a rapper uses the word nigger in a song doesn't give permission to white people to use it.

You are entitled to your opinion and because of that, this is not something I'd like to argue about. Suffice it to say that I think your line of reasoning is ridiculous on the grounds that anyone can 'have permission' to use any word they wish. Neither you, a black man, or anyone else 'has permission' to play Word Police and decide which words are and are not off limits. If it's safe for you to say in a non-pejorative context, it's fair game for anyone. There are no special words that should just belong to one group of people.

If my website was entitled www.fags.com and it was a website where I singled people out for their fagginess, you would have a reason to be offended. As it is, I am using the word 'artfag.' When used in the manner in which I intended, this word has nothing to do with gay people at all.

That is so fucked up.